Prompt for 9/29/16

-What is your personal credo?

Often times, my friends and family will tell me I'm a pessimist, that I'm too negative. Admittedly, there is validity to their points; I will often expect the worst of situations, the potential downsides to actions, and act less-than-pleased when I'm put into unfavorable or stressful scenarios. Honestly, I've been this way for quite a long time. While it may seem like quite the flaw, I'll take a moment to act out of character and be optimistic about my pessimism. My so-called pessimism stems from and reinforces my tendency to be prepared for the unfavorable possibilities of every situation. 

My shift into a pessimistic character most likely was gradual, from a young age, but I don't recall many details; it was probably the culmination of many experiences. I was always really excited for trick-or-treating during Halloween, and afterwards I’d be happy about the good time and candy I got. But one year, I was sick on October 31^st, and was crushed by the disappointment of missing out on something I had so looked forward to. I eventually realized that the disappointment from a good situation turning sour far surpassed the pleasure experienced from an expected good situation. Several quotes I came across (in books or online) aided this realization. For example, a character in a novel I read said "Prepare for the worst...that way you'll never be disappointed," and someone quoted in a magazine said "The good thing about being a pessimist is that you're always right or pleasantly surprised." I ended up accepting these as good pieces of advice. 

On one hand, people may understandably frown at my tendency to assume and prepare for the worst. However, my so-called pessimism results in me being more prepared for many situations. I'll often prepare for things with a "better safe than sorry" mentality. Even if it's small, trivial things, like always charging my devices in the night even if I think I have enough battery to last the next day. Even after doing that, I’ll still bring my chargers. When studying, I'll spend a good amount of time on a topic or piece of information that the teacher only mentioned briefly, in the anticipation that it could be on the test. There have been quite a few history tests where doing so has saved me some points or even granted me some extra credit. For interviews or events with a vague or nonexistent dress code, I'll lean to the formal side. Interviewers are much more often put off by a t-shirt and jeans than by a dress shirt and dress pants. 

I’ll admit that my pessimism has caused problems. The most obvious detriment is the negative mindset; my urge to consider the worst can become overwhelming, and a difficult (but definitely manageable) situation will sometimes cause me to severely overthink and drown in my own negative thoughts. A constant swirl of “What if?” fills my head and makes it harder for me to think clearly and find motivation to complete the task at hand. I’m also prone to sharing my own brand of crushing realism with others around me, be it complaining about a long paper or pointing out any issues I can think of in peoples’ plans (no matter how trivial). I myself understand this is neither helpful nor healthy.    

Despite the potential drawbacks, I stand by my credo of pessimism. The part I take to be valuable is not the negativity, but the idea of being ready and prepared in case things go bad. It's a central part of who I've become.     

Prompt 9/15/16

2. Would you mind if your parents blogged about you? 

       Based on how uncomfortable I'll get when I know my parents are talking about me to someone else, I'd probably be immediately mortified if they were spreading embarrassing childhood stories or complaints about how lazy I am on the internet for any stranger to read. Even worse is the possibility that someone who knows me might chance upon my parents' blog and eventually spread the contents to my entire circle or friends and acquaintances.   

       Part of the issue of having parents blog about you is that they know nearly everything about you; you best and worst moments, your moments of strength and weakness, and this is to be expected for such close family. But these are things that I would probably not be comfortable with if they were out in the open. No individual bares themselves to the world completely, and everyone has things they keep to themselves, or things they'd rather forget and never see resurface. When people that close to you are writing on the internet about you, there is a very real danger of these things being made public. And once something is made public, it more or less stays that way. Knowledge, when distributed over the internet, will quite often stay there or be saved elsewhere forever.  

      And parents seem more prone to spreading this type of information than others, but almost never with the intent to embarrass. Being the people closest to you, they see you in a different way. To them, you are their child and faults are sometimes noticed less. But what may seem fine to them can end up making things quite uncomfortable for you. One may have idiosyncrasies that they don't wish their friends to know about, and suddenly a parent blogs about it and it's out there. A past picture or story that seems cute to your parents could very well circulate and haunt you for a long time. 

       When it comes down to it, my own desire to never let my parents blog about me stems from the possibility that something embarrassing or uncomfortable may be posted and it may come to affect me if picked up by a friend, acquaintance, or family of such people. So if my parents remained anonymous, never used my name, and never posted pictures, so that the things on their blog couldn't be traced back to me or my family, I'd probably be fine with it. 

Prompt 9/1/16

Do you wish you could return to a moment from your past?

To me, most of my past is a time of regularity, of routine, with nothing out of the ordinary really happening. Although it's certainly more stressful now than it used to be (which is perhaps why it's quite tempting to return to my relaxed childhood), reliving snippets from my past would probably be a futile exercise.

Disregarding all the issues I'm already inclined to raise with the implications of backwards time-travel, I realize I don't have the slightest clue in which part I'd even want to return to. The simple reason is that I have no important, defining moments in my life. While there have of course been constant ups and downs, high and lows in my life, I haven't lived long or independently enough to seriously screw myself over or find life-changing success. I suspect this holds true for the majority of people around my age. While there have been times where I've been happier than I usually am or going through better times, nothing stands out. There would be some times that would be nice to revisit, but I struggle to even choose a place in my past to start from.

Even if I did have an idea as to what I want to relive, I'd have to ask myself what I could accomplish with the chance. Many people might want to relive a portion of their life to fix a mistake or drastically change the rest of their existence; but again, this wouldn't apply to me. I don't have any defining moment, anything I desperately want to change. There's places where I wish I had said something witty or taken the chance to get some free food, but that's all trivial. To significantly change the course of my life, I'd probably have to redo a large portion of it, and there's no guarantee that the change would be positive.

However, I have to admit that it's tempting to jump back to the past, not because of the potential to redo my life, but to return to the less stressful times with less responsibilities. It's definitely been more than once that I've complained to a friend (or the other way around) about wanting to jump five years back and forget about college and independence. Being a shrimp of a middle-schooler wasn't as fun, but messing around and not worrying much about a laughable homework load definitely made it better. As tantalizing as the prospect of going back to that kind of lifestyle is, time eventually messes everything up. The seconds add up and before I know it, I'm a high-schooler again, agonizing about my GPA and college apps. The years add back up and bring you back to where you are now. Therefore, I think returning to a moment from the past would simply be a futile attempt to escape from the future, despite the initial allure of the idea. Although my tendency for procrastination may contradict the following sentiment, I'd rather just struggle through whatever joy, sadness, or monotony is to come without yearning for impossibilities that actually would hold little impact for me. And besides, time doesn't  give a damn what I think; it'll always continue to push me forward without the slightest glance backward.